Dad, Chief, Grandpa, Stephen, Stefano – however you knew my father I am sure you will join me in looking back on his life with wonder and deep gratitude. Dad was a man of many parts and many passions; I am both inspired by how he created such a rich and fulfilling life for himself and proud of how he greatly enhanced the lives of others.
Dad was a gregarious soul, who enjoyed being with other people all around the world and they recognised his genuine interest in them and his care for them. Friendships were important to Dad and he formed and nurtured them wherever he went, with some of them going back as much as 60 years. He greatly enjoyed sharing his interests with others and we will all have happy memories of those times spent together, whether it was over a delicious meal that he had cooked, chatting in the garden, on a walk, or at a concert or other event. People responded to Dad’s love of life, the boyish sense of fun and good humour that he never lost, his generosity of spirit and the fact that he didn’t take himself too seriously. For those who were having difficulties, Dad took the time to listen and he drew on his own experiences to empathise, to support with kindness and to encourage. This care for others was also apparent in his constant support for numerous charities, such as the Wulugu Project.
Dad was fortunate, and wise, to find two strong women to share phases of his life with. Together with my mother Eldrid he brought up a family and my sister Helene and I will always be grateful for the love they showed, the example they set, the stable home they provided, the values they instilled in us and how hard they worked to guide and support us as we navigated the ups and downs of our own lives. That has been a constant; the certain knowledge that Dad was always there for us and for me that continued when Liz and I started our own family and Dad took on the role of Grandpa to James and Guy. Dad showed me how to be a good husband and father and I hope I can continue to live up to his example.
After Mum sadly passed away in her mid-50s, Dad later found Eileen to be another love of his life and I have many reasons to be glad that he did. Together they have been able to enjoy two decades of retirement, mainly living in Winchmore Hill, with the time and good health to enjoy shared interests, to be with family and friends and to explore a good deal more of the world.
I have always been struck by how Dad engaged with life, how he was fascinated by so many aspects of it and how he got out and made things happen, whether that was for himself, for those he loved or for others. His many lifelong passions included mountains (he didn’t let a broken leg and fractured skull from a climbing accident on the Isle of Sky when he was just 16 interfere with that), other wild and unpeopled places, nature, particularly trees, and the charms of the British countryside, classical music (he was a faithful and enthusiastic Promenader), opera, many different styles of cooking, wine (there are plenty of photos of him with glass in hand), art and learning (as those here from the U3A and WEA can testify, possibly from having enjoyed one of his many talks and presentations). While we might on occasion have teased Dad about his ‘bluffers guide’, there was no doubting that he knew a great deal about many different topics and that desire to engage, to discuss and to learn about the world around him was ever-present. We have all benefited from that and Dad will live on through us having taken on some of those interests for ourselves.
Alongside people and passions, there are numerous places that featured strongly in Dad’s life. These included Cambridge University (where I expect his high regard for education and learning was stimulated and reinforced), North Essex, London (he never tired of its vibrancy, history, famous sites, parks, restaurants, galleries and music venues), Italy, America (where Helene was born and where he and Mum probably had their happiest years together) and New Zealand. Throughout his life, and wherever he went, Dad did however have a strong preference for ‘the road less travelled’ for he recognised that is where the most interesting experiences might well lie.
Dad spent most of his varied career in the oil and gas industry and he was rightly proud of the many important projects that he contributed to during his time with different organisations. It was typical of Dad though that he would not put his feet up on retirement, but would instead apply his many management skills by participating within the community, whether that be by leading or serving on committees, by organising, by delivering projects or by fund-raising, these activities all being focused on supporting and improving the lives of others.
This active and constructive approach to life was representative of Dad’s values and it was evident until the very end. His life was just as full of challenges, loss and suffering as the lives of many others, but he learned the value of being grateful for the good parts of life, of looking forwards, of making the best of any situation and of finding things to be positive about. Dad very much admired confident, positive, eloquent people, with John F. Kennedy foremost amongst those, and I believe he sought to emulate something of that through his promotion of action, hope and  faith that things could and would be better. Dad did not believe in having regrets and he would not want us to dwell on them ourselves; although we are sad and grieving, he would seek to comfort us however he could. He would encourage us to recognise that he lived a life full of rich experiences and of love; he loved others and he was himself much loved by so many people.
So, close your eyes, hold onto happy memories of good times that we had together with Dad and give thanks that he was such a special part of our lives. And when you get a chance, raise a glass and say a toast, for Dad would surely have appreciated that.